“making music is my least harmful addiction”
Q: At this point in your life, does IIIsaberr still feel like an aesthetic mask you put on, or has it started to merge with how you actually see yourself as an artist?
A: “I try to keep this ‘artist’ separate from myself and don’t feel like it is attached to me in a sense that I am it, more that I have it, among other artist personas I could have. This is just my main project. Sometimes I tap into being IIIsaberr and what comes with it. There are certain aesthetics and things that I like, that I associate with this artist, that don’t correspond to how I am in real life. I won’t talk about how I am in real life since this is about my music, but this artist allows me to express myself in a way that I can’t in real life.”
Q: When you say you “tap into being IIIsaberr,” what does that shift feel like in practice?
A: “When I make music I tap mostly into the guilty pleasures I have, things that catch you that are bad but feel good to chase, sinning basically. So that feeling you get when you think to yourself damn I can get wasted tonight and go crazy and the hype that comes with it. I am sober by the way. Just a craving feeling of things you shouldn’t do. When I make music I can only work when I am completely alone, like a black box. And that feels like still anything can happen and I have the freedom to do whatever I want, only in that moment. I can’t think of another moment where I have that feeling. I get into hyperfocus and lose myself making music and it gets me beyond excited, jaws locked sometimes from stimulation and hype.”
Q: That “black box” state you mentioned — being completely alone, hyperfocused, almost overstimulated — do you feel like the music is leading you there, or are you chasing that state and using music as the way in?
A: “I usually don’t chase that state and it usually lasts a couple of days or maybe a week. The state is bad for my health. In that state, the only thing I can do is listen to my latest project. I render them and download to my phone, even the slightest moment I am away from my computer I make memos on my phone so I can listen for 2 minutes that I am away. It’s 90% I can think about from then on. Also I get irritated if I cannot work on my music and get distracted. As I said, I need to be alone, my current situation doesn’t really facilitate that all of the time. I love it though and it is the best ever. I love making music so so much.”
Q: When that period ends — when the hyperfocus fades — what’s it like to come back out of it?
A: “I still like the projects of course, just the intensity of the work is better. I also am less in tunnel vision and can hear things that are off better after a break. Mixing stuff for instance.”
Q: When you listen back after that break and start noticing what’s off — what are you usually listening for first?
A: “Usually it’s the mix that needs work. I don’t and can’t listen to any other music other than my own in that period of time that I am working on it with focus, so tunnel vision makes the mix unique on the one hand, but can be off on the other hand.”
Q: Do you feel like that tunnel-vision mixing — even when it’s technically “off” — is part of what gives IIIsaberr its character?
A: “Definitely. I aim for 100% tunnelvision and instinct. Every choice I have to make I make with dedication, 100% in one direction and burn the bridge. I.e., I don’t save a backup when I am about to do something ‘crazy’ or risky. I trust my gut sometimes for better or worse. I think this intuition or ‘instinct’ makes my work unique. This tunnel vision and isolated mixing adds to that.”
Q: When you do take risks and later realize it maybe wasn’t “for the better,” how do you sit with that?
A: “I don’t think about it necessarily. It is what it is, is what I think.”
Q: When you’re getting that initial idea out — the chords, melodies, drums — is that usually coming fully formed in your head, or is it more of a feeling you chase and assemble piece by piece?
A: “Usually part of it. When I have an ‘idea’ it’s like I have a song in my head like an earworm song but one that doesn’t exist yet. This is how I work, from the mind to the computer. Rarely the other way around. But yes, when I hear this song I hear it as a whole but a portion, of course, a hook or a verse. Then as I lay it down in the computer more starts to come. After 3 minutes it is already physical and I start to work with what I have in the software. It is hard to project this song from your mind onto reality. It is really something that is very volatile. I have to catch it as quickly as possible and make it physical. When I’m not around my computer I might hum or whistle into a memo and later use it to recall the song or memory. Rarely do that though.”
Q: When you do get it into the computer and it starts to “exist,” does that change your relationship to it?
A: “Yes I do feel relieved since it often feels like I needed to get it out. Often it feels like a gap that is filled or a puzzle piece that is placed where it belonged. Basically a node in the multidimensional space that makes up inspiration, aka my frame of reference — all the things I have seen/made/heard make up my product, my music and artworks.”
Q: When you reflect on your past projects, do you notice that the “window” changes — that your perspective evolves over time?
A: “Yes definitely, also my view on making music as a whole changes. I think it is inevitable. I think that is with every song. I sometimes think of the current moment as the seed that determines the outcome of my frame of reference. Mood, current circumstances change.”
Q: When you’re in that moment — the seed — do you feel like the music is guiding you, or are you guiding the music?
A: “Music guides me. The music is a product of my mind and I just make it physical, that’s it.”
Q: Do you ever feel tension between what’s in your head and what ends up in the computer?
A: “I have been making music for a long time and know very well how to translate now, quick and good, producing since 12 and I am now almost 27, learning every day of course.”
Q: Do you ever find yourself surprised by the music that comes out — something you didn’t consciously expect?
A: “Once the idea is out intuition takes over and that can lead to things. The idea is a moment I catch, but during I also catch volatile moments, choices. And I don’t do it consciously. It’s quite the opposite, I turn my mind off and go with intuition.”
Q: When you look back at those moments, do you ever recognize patterns in your intuition — like recurring instincts — or is it always new, unpredictable territory?
A: “No, there are of course things that I like that recur, so certain types of beats or chords, every time with a twist or different color though. I’d say I can make a newer, not like my old tracks, kind of song if I am in a different headspace, but it’s all in the same realm I would say, some in different chambers, some can be grouped together I guess. I think I can make a set of compilations of songs I made over time, so 5 songs from different times that are similar. That’s the result of only publishing singles.”
Q: When you picture that world visually, what does it look like?
A: “It depends. Often a romanticized fantasy, dark or emotional, but it differs. Sometimes I also picture a PS1 low-poly cute beach world where this happens.”
Q: Do visuals influence the sounds you choose, or are they an afterimage?
A: “They interact I would say. Let’s say if I now look at 1000 PS1 images in a binge, I can then easily imagine, i.e., hallucinate a new one, that might partly exist or might not exist. That is how inspiration works — you hallucinate something new based on what you know. Same goes for music.”
Q: When you’re creating these visuals after the music, do you see them as literal interpretations or abstract companions?
A: “Could be both, I could make 10 artworks for one song and sometimes do, sometimes it’s an artwork for a specific moment or part in the song etc.”
Q: Do you usually work alone, or do you collaborate?
A: “I sometimes do. If I find an artist cool, vocals that is, I sometimes ask them if I can hear them on one of my songs. I send the track, they send it back and I mix it in. I don’t work with other producers usually since I am entirely self-produced and that is what I do. I also don’t work with people IRL since I don’t know any other artists IRL, and I wouldn’t like to work together physically. I think it would distract me and wouldn’t fit the way I work.”
Q: Do you ever revisit shelved tracks?
A: “I might if I am on that same frequency again, usually if I shelf it for a bit I am already on the next wave so to say and it is not what I like anymore. That’s why I need to publish music quickly, before I am onto something else.”
Q: Do you hope listeners feel the same intensity you felt in creation?
A: “I hope they do :)”
Q: Does feedback influence how you think about your music’s purpose?
A: “I like it when I get feedback and validation, I am generally insecure. I also don’t let anyone I know, any family etc., listen to it since I am afraid they will not understand it / like it. Although I am 100% sure myself that it is good. I don’t really get any input from listeners that I have to implement or something. Some people say they don’t like nightcore, so I tell them they have to go on then. A lot of feedback is positive. Though I once did get a message that my music helped them fall asleep, which did inspire me to make 2 sleeping-oriented tracks, non-published though.”
Q: How do you approach making music?
A: “I try to think as simply as possible about music, I aim to make it ‘go hard’ rather than being a masterpiece / complex song. I do think however that the effort and almost artisanal labor that goes into the process really does make it art. If listeners like it or appreciate it in ways I had foreseen myself I think that is nice and motivates me to publish more, not to make more like that.”
Q: How do you know when a track is ready to release?
A: “It just kind of converges, at the last stages I just listen to it over and over, correcting mistakes / adding things. Once I stop modifying it’s kind of done I’d say.”
Q: Do you ever feel a sense of completion, or could it always be better?
A: “Not really completion, it can always be ‘better’. I am no industry pro producer, so I could put in the effort to make it perfect. I won’t though, as long as the message is across and it sounds like me I am alright.”
Q: Would you say your primary motivation is the act of making music rather than listener response?
A: “Inherently the process is entirely personal. Publishing it is a different story. As I said I am very insecure about it and don’t let family or friends listen to it. I am glad I have a space where I kind of know that the people will like it. Also it is anonymous. I mainly get praise for the music, which is also nice.”
Q: When you imagine your music reaching more people, does it threaten the balance you’ve found?
A: “Yes I guess I am scared to let that be part of myself in real life. I want it to be safe and isolated from me. I once did a live show in 2023, with like 10 people and I did a DJ set of my music. I was kind of in a less insecure mood at the time but still I am very ashamed of it to this day. I don’t see a future where a lot of people would listen to my music and I don’t really chase it. I don’t know how marketing works and I am too unreliable and lazy in the sense that I can neglect my artist being and my music pages for a while and then come back after months. I do hope to reach big audiences for the art of it and be an artist in that sense, but it is hard to do so if you don’t commit your real life to it and do it anonymously. I am generally scared to ‘show’ myself, at work for instance, and be myself. I am really reserved and keep being myself at home. I have a huge fear of being ‘cringe’. While I do know that if someone finds me cringe that is on them, I still don’t want them to feel. I do know that if I do something and I don’t feel ashamed, someone else might. I tend to worry about that.”
Q: If IIIsaberr didn’t exist, where would that energy go?
A: “It would be projected onto addicting things in real life, making music is my least harmful addiction I would say.”
Q: Do the intense, “sinning” emotions stay in the music or linger in yourself?
A: “They are usually let out in the music, not having to chase them in real life anymore.”